Peaceful Parenting
Who Are You, My Child? (Part Two of Two)

Astrology as a tool for self-awareness and understanding your child.

In Part One of this article, we explored the tendency of parents to unconsciously project expectations onto our children, attempting to steer them toward goals and activities that we feel are appropriate and/or in their “best interest”. While stemming from the most honorable of intentions, this behavior has the potential to seriously stifle a child’s personal journey. Instead, I encourage the importance of celebrating and supporting our children’s uniqueness and individuality, allowing for them to discover their own passions.

When I was a child, I remember spending long periods of time in my room… coloring, reading, or simply imagining. My husband, as a boy, spent entire days exploring alone in the woods. However, we now find ourselves with twin boys, who grow bored quickly and need constant novelty and parental participation. We’ve had to radically adjust our expectations in order to support them as they are.

My friend, a very social and outgoing person, gave birth to a shy and introverted daughter. Her efforts to bring this little girl “out of her shell”, through exposure to group activities and play dates, resulted in much frustration for mother and daughter alike. Accepting her daughter’s need for quiet time and introspection, and being able to see the value in those things, greatly improved their relationship. And the lack of pressure from her mother eventually allowed the girl to extend herself socially, where she felt drawn, at her own speed.

Even with the help of a child development professional, it can be difficult to garner the objectivity necessary to evaluate your child’s personality, and to recognize when you are projecting your own desires and fears onto your child. In the example above, it was the mother’s fears that her daughter “wouldn’t fit in” and her desire for her daughter to “succeed” (according to our culture’s definition) that drove her to steer the girl in a direction that was not only uncomfortable for the girl, but also prohibited her from following her own instincts.

Personally, I’ve found astrology to be a valuable, informative and objective tool for helping parents understand the similarities and differences between themselves and their children.

Let me first say…I am NOT talking about the brand of astrology represented in the horoscope section of popular magazines. Unfortunately, those catch-all predictions are for entertainment purposes only and give the modality a very bad spin, misrepresenting the true art of astrological interpretation, which has been practiced in different cultures and civilizations for millennia.

While I am not a big fan of “catch-all astrology”, having a general understanding of the four elements (the fundamental basis of astrology), particularly the one(s) in which your child is most comfortable, helps tremendously.

Some kids are tuned into the intellectual realm (in astrological terms, this is signified by the Air element): Ideas, concepts, puzzles, things that involve thinking, strategy and fantasy. If your child is oriented here, intellectual and social pursuits will be meaningful. Taking the time to offer explanations and helping them to understand new things will support them to thrive.

Other children embody the physical realm (the Earth element). These children usually enjoy playing in nature (digging in the dirt), sports, cooking and building. They are sense-oriented and quite comfortable in their bodies. A child oriented toward the earth realm will likely gravitate toward physical activity and things that employ the five senses. Expose them to different tastes, smells and textures to keep them fulfilled.

A child attuned to the feeling realm (the Water element) will likely have an affinity for forming close relationships, caring for animals, music and art. They are sensitive, empathic, and experience their emotions deeply. If your child is oriented here, quiet time and solitude are essential to re-charge them.

Children that resonate with the spiritual realm (the Fire element) are active, passionate and creative. Due to their exuberance and enthusiasm, they often emerge as leaders, rather than followers. These kids are intuitive, often knowing things without having learned them intellectually. If yours is a fire child, freedom is key – give them lots of space to explore and feel empowered. If the reigns get too tight, they will rebel!!

To find out which element best represents your child, you will need to run a birth chart (several websites offer these for free) and determine the signs of your child’s Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars. Each sign is associated with an element. If your child has two or more of these planets in a particular element, your child will likely resonate with one of the descriptions above.

This is a very simplistic way to discover your child’s elemental focus. However, an experienced astrologer will be able to definitively determine elemental orientation and also interpret and explain the tendencies and motivations that drive your children (and yourself).

Vive la différence!

You can read Part One on my website at www.astrologyforparenting.com.

Amy Edwards is a Parenting Coach, applying the principles of Attachment Parenting, Consensual Living and Astrology to help parents attain authentic and respectful relationships with their children and families. Visit www.astrologyforparenting.com or call (916) 212-5501 for a free 15-minute consultation.